In this tenth anniversary edition of Don’t Alienate the Kids! attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows readers how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors.
We all know breakups can get ugly. But sometimes they can get downright vicious, with badmouthing, brainwashing, and allegations of alienation, child abuse and domestic violence, all leading to nasty custody battles.
And when they do, it’s the children who suffer most. During a high-conflict divorce or separation, kids can develop lifelong habits of all-or-nothing thinking, unregulated emotions, and extreme behaviors. Professionals who want to help may unintentionally make things worse, believing everything a parent says or taking sides.
No one can solve this problem alone. That’s because the wall of alienation between parent and child is built by:
But there's hope! Readers can help kids learn flexible thinking, emotion regulation, effective behaviors, and healthy relationships.
Everyone involved must work together. This book shows how parents, family members, friends, counselors, lawyers, parenting coordinators, divorce coaches, and family court judges can become part of the solution, giving children a foundation of resilience that will last a lifetime.
Bill Eddy is cofounder of the High Conflict Institute and the author or coauthor of thirteen books, including Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, BIFF, and Splitting.
Part 1: Building a Wall (What to Avoid) Chapter 1: High-Conflict Divorce Chapter 2: Child Alienation Chapter 3: 1000 Little Bricks Chapter 4: Emotions are Contagious Chapter 5: All-or-Nothing Thinking Chapter 6: Mirroring Bad Behavior
Part 2: Building a Foundation (What to Do) Chapter 7: Teaching Resilience Chapter 8: Reasonable Parent's Dilemma Chapter 9: How Family and Friends Can Help Chapter 10: How Lawyers Can Help Chapter 11: How Counselors Can Help Chapter 12: The Future of Family Courts Chapter 13: New Ways for Families Chapter 14: Update: 2010 to 2020
Appendix A: Before You Go To Family Court Appendix B: Yes, No, or I'll Think About It Appendix C: Is Your Child Alienated? Appendix D: Don't Use "Force" Appendix E: Evaluating Sexual Abuse Reports in Family Court Appendix F: New Ways Parent-Child Talk
References Index About the Author